Monday, 4 January 2010

Songs i want played at my funeral...

So 2010 eh? A new year and that. So what better way to celebrate than to get depressed about getting a year older and still pissing around like a drunk spastic. With this in mind ive got all morbid on yo' ass and have come up with ten songs i want played at my funeral. Ok so im only 24, but say i died tomorrow - at least id have a fuckin good tune to listen to whilst i descend to hell...

10 - Pet Shop Boys - Being Boring

The ultimate nostalgia song. Full of whimsical nods to times gone by and parties attended throughout the years. This is bound to have people collapsing into frenzied heaps of sorrow all over the shop, which i guess is the point. I want this played if i die aged 60 after a few years battling with alcoholism and minor dementia.

9 - Pulp - Sorted for E's and Whizz

"What if you never come dowwwnnnnn..". This is what i want if i die of an overdose.

8 - Nick Cave - Your Funeral, My Trial

This is the song i want played if im murdered by a close friend. Hopefully it'll make him feel so guilty that he admits to the whole damn thing and is arse fucked in prison for the rest of his days. Tosser.

7 - Oasis - Live Forever

I guess this one is pretty self-explanatory..

6 - Arthur Brown - Fire

I want this one played if i die aged like 90 or sumfink. Obviously this has to go hand in hand with a cremation, it wouldnt really work at a burial. I've chosen this because its kinda funny but not too dark or offensive for my 90 year old mates (as if).

5 - Jimi Hendrix - Crosstown Traffic

This one is for a death in a road accident. However if its me thats driving, then it could also be "In My Car" by Madness or "Cars" by Gary Numan, although please not the fucking Fear Factory cover...Remember that!? Theres probably loads for this death actually so feel free to adlib if you think of a better one. Ta.

4 - Joy Division - Love will Tear us Apart

Easily the most obvious inclusion, but i think im just really fuckin arrogant and narcissistic 'cos i just want people literally pissing tears at my funeral. Is that so much to ask?

3 - Stone Roses - I am the Ressurection

This has to be for a church funeral. And i want the priests face when this is played put on Flikr.

2 - Tupac - Thugz Man$ion

If my life takes a sudden turn for the worse and i end up dying in a gang related shoot out, then it has to be this. I actually fucking hate this song but its here for pure comedy reasons. It would be pretty funny...

Ain't no place I'd rather be
Chillin' with homies and family
Sky high, iced out paradise
In the skyyyyyyyyyy...

Couldnt have said it better myself.

1 - Blondie - Heart of Glass

Heart attack. See also; The Strokes